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Tsunami: In the eyes of a child November 20, 2009

Posted by acespiretribe in Adam and Daniel, Dr Muhammad al'Mahdi, Khalifah Method, Khalifah Parenting, Laws of Learning, Life, event.
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All praise is due to Allah subhana wa ta’ala, Lord of the worlds.

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, my dear brothers and sisters.

Recently, I noticed that Daniel had renewed his interest in being a doctor. As I knew he also loved architecture and buildings, I told him how the muslims in the past used to choose a site to build a new hospital.

They would leave pieces of fresh meat on several locations around the city for a few days and when they came back to check the condition of the meat, the location that had the least rotted meat was chosen. This was because that particular location had the cleanest air circulating around it, which is conducive to a healthy recovery in the hospital. Modern day hospitals have state-of-the-art ventilation systems to ensure the air in the hospital is clean.

When the Boxing Day Tsunami hit Asia in 2004, I allowed the boys to follow the news coverage on television. Daniel was standing in front of the TV watching the devastation that hit Banda Acheh. He turned to me and said, “Mummy, I want to take my doctor’s bag and go there to help them.” He was 3 ½ years old.

I am crying now as I write this because I am completely moved by the compassion and empathy shown by that beautiful 3 ½ year old boy. As he told me what he wanted to do, he was not held back by his tender age, neither was he stopped by the fact that he knew nothing about medicine. In his khalifah mind, his only thought was “I know I can do something to help them.” That was enough for him.

Looking back at the lesson Daniel taught me, I know could’ve searched my car for loose change to give to the man selling the keropok (refer to previous post, ‘The mind of a muslim is powerful’) but I felt it just wasn’t worth it. I didn’t think a few cents would make any difference to him. I was wrong. A few cents would’ve made a difference. Because I had made the effort to search for the loose change and the man would’ve seen me make the effort and maybe, just maybe, felt a little better knowing that there is someone in this world who was willing to help him out.

“Ya Rabb! Give me the wisdom and strength to be a better muslim and a kinder khalifah.” Ameen

“The mind of a muslim is powerful” Daniel, 8 November 20, 2009

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All praise is due to Allah subhana wa ta’ala, Lord of the worlds.

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, my dear brothers and sisters.

The amount of profound statements coming from by Adam and Daniel are increasing daily. We were in the car today talking about something (unfortunately I can’t remember what is now) when Daniel suddenly had a frozen look on his face and immediately asked for pen and paper. I gave it to him and he wrote down, “The mind of a muslim is powerful.”

Being a khalifah parent, of course I had to ask how he knew this. Daniel answered, “Because when you think of Allah i.e make dzikr, Allah is Powerful and He can make your thoughts powerful.”

Wow! Masha’Allah. No wonder I always have pen and paper ready with me at all times. Just for these occasions; capturing such amazing statements from the boys. I never expect it, nor do I demand it from Adam and Daniel but because their khalifah potential is so deeply ingrained in their psyche, these thoughts just automatically come to them.

Adam, too, gave me a ‘Wow!’ moment today. We had just sent a friend home and were near our own house but our maid was at another friend’s house, helping out there. I asked the boys if we should still go and pick Kak Ayee up, since we were so near home and turning back would be wasting petrol. Adam replied, “Well, if we didn’t get Kak Ayee, then she would be wasting her money on taxi fare so you both will wasting something. So, you might as well pick her up.” Wow!

I told Adam that he was right and his answer made a lot of sense considering Kak Ayee has gone beyond being just a maid; she is family now so of course the boys will consider her difficulties and her needs, just as they would consider mine.

Another incident occurred when we were waiting in the car for Kak Ayee who went into the shops to buy stuff. A man selling dried fish crackers (keropok), came to our car, asking me to buy some. I told him truthfully that I hadn’t any money on me (when we left the house in the morning, it was just to go for a walk-we ended up helping to pack at the school!) so I wasn’t able to buy any from him. I made du’a to Allah Almighty to give the man rezqi and he thanked me and walked away.

It was only then I realised Adam had wanted me to give the man the one ringgit that he still had. I called the man back and handed him Adam’s sadaqah. The man said he was shy to take money from Adam since he was just a young boy but I  told him, “Please take it. My son wants you to have it because he knows his responsibilities.”

He really does, you know…They both do. That’s what is so amazing about Khalifah Method- it really does work to deeply ingrain the role and responsibilities of khalifah. And that’s why I always see my sons saying and doing stuff that we hardly ever see in young children nowadays.

Boy, am I one lucky mother…

Awaken the Khalifah Within November 18, 2009

Posted by acespiretribe in Dr Muhammad al'Mahdi, Khalifah Method, Khalifah Parenting, Laws of Learning, Life.
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All praise is due to Allah subhana wa ta’ala, Lord of the worlds.

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, my dear brothers and sisters.

Students reading Al Quran while waiting for jema'ah prayers to begin

I’ve been reading Anthony Robbins’ powerfully succinct book, ‘Awaken the Giant Within’ on and off over the past few months. It’s very well written and in my opinion, written by a man whose intention is to empower as many people as possible with the knowledge, skills and attitude that would make them realise just how great they truly are inside.

In his book, he talks about how a teacher, Marva Collins, helped her students believe in themselves and push their own abilities beyond limits and succeeded magnificently. He went to her school and interviewed a four year old boy who told him he just finished reading ‘Of Mice and Men’. (Wow! Masha’Allah, I only  read that book in my late teens!)

This story reminded me of a friend, who owns quite a number of kindergartens together with her business partner. She is a Khalifah Method trainer and implemented the method in all her kindergartens. The four year old students have memorised Surah Yassin and interact with each other exactly like khalifah to one another. If a student is misbehaving, it is his friends who remind him and correct his behavior. Masha’Allah. It is truly amazing to see these children!

In my years at Khalifah Model School, I had been blessed with the opportunities to work closely with students and see the transformation that took place. If they were noisy and disruptive before, now when I go into class, all of them are seated and quiet, with stationery and books ready on their tables. If they were fighting and teasing each other before, now they treat each other with empathy and gentleness.

I took the final year students out for a treat recently, for bowling and lunch. I reminded them that when they are with me, they have to remember that my standard is the khalifah standard so in everything they do and say, it has to be as khalifah. So, that is how I found them to be praying Zuhr in jema’ah before we went into the bowling alley. And sharing plates of food with each other instead of ordering individual meals. Alhamdulillah, there wasn’t any food wasted at all and some even brought home food for their siblings.

This is one of the principles Anthony Robbins talks about in his book; holding ourselves to a higher standard and as a muslim, this standard is the khalifah standard: doing everything as how Allah Almighty instructed us to through Al Quran and the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.

During my time at the school, as I reminded the students of their role as khalifah of Allah Almighty, I always helped them see for themselves that they are more smarter, stronger, kinder, hardworking, patient than they or anyone else thought they could ever be. What I received in return was nothing short of a miracle… The students became smarter, stronger, kinder, more hardworking and patient! This brings me to the second of Anthony Robbins’ principle; empowering them with new, positive thoughts about themselves so that they begin to become those positive thoughts. These kids really just needed someone to believe in them.

We did several overnight, motivational camp programs at the school called ACE Camp, which had been featured several times on national television. I designed the camp module to equip the students with basic life skills like cooking, organizing, money management and cooperation. The result was students doing everything for themselves! Any parent who says their child is lazy did not see their child at this camp. They prepared food on their own, under my supervision, from scratch to finish, served it, washed up after, swept the floor, tidied the kitchen and even planned all the meals themselves! I’m talking about kids as young as 7 year olds here…Even at this young age, Anthony Robbins’ principle of having life skills can be learnt and understood by them.

At the subsequent camps, the students were so familiar with the module that they didn’t need any instructions from me. All I had to do was  to show up for the sessions and meals! They had gotten everything ready before I came. A few parents came back to me with feedback about their kids after the camp. One parent said her daughter gets up early on Sundays and prepares breakfast for the family. She was 9 years old.

Looking back, the experiences and discoveries I made during my time teaching has truly enriched me. I now know that children, given their khalifah potential in an inspiring and motivating way, having people around them believing in their khalifah potential and teaching them skills that would enable them to fulfill their khalifah potential, will do just that: become a khalifah of Allah Almighty.

WIIFM: What’s In It For Me? November 18, 2009

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All praise is due to Allah subhana wa ta’ala, Lord of the worlds.

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, my dear brothers and sisters.

This morning I heard Adam ask Daniel,’ What’s in it for me?’ and thought what could he be using that well-known sales tool for?? I found out that Daniel was trying to use something that belongs to Adam and Adam wanted to know what he could in the meantime. Daniel suggested several options for him.

As a khalifah mother, I wondered why Adam was thinking this way with his own brother; kinda like saying, ‘If I give this to you, what would you give me back in return?’ I wondered why he had to expect something in return. I didn’t wonder how he got the phrase ‘WIIFM’- that I know he heard me muttering to myself, recalling what I was taught as I was selling cosmetics 6 years ago! My boys were very much involved in my Mary Kay business and would sometimes accompany me to my sales classes.

The answer that I got after pondering these thoughts is that his world view is less on being the khalifah of Allah Almighty and more of a normal 10- year old growing up in today’s society.

I’m afraid this is an unacceptable since our family’s vision and mission is about living our lives as a khalifah and as closely as possible, according to the Will of Allah Almighty. You see, a normal 10-year old kid in today’s society is not the best example of correct behavior. Lack of respect, laziness, selfishness, interested only in video games and junk food are some of the characteristics that define a ‘normal 10- year old in today’s society’. That is definitely not what I want for Adam.

So, as a khalifah mother, I will take the necessary steps to help re-direct Adam’s world view and Insha’Allah, his true khalifah potential will shine ever greater.

Learned Behavior: Finally! November 17, 2009

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All praise is due to Allah subhana wa ta’ala, Lord of the worlds.

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, my dear brothers and sisters.

We have a new kitten in the house and I’ve been training it to use the litter box but with little success. But just now, as I heard the kitten meowing and signalling it was about to pee on the floor, I immediately looked at him and said ‘No. Use the litter box.’

Guess what happened next? He immediately went to his litter box and peed in it! Finally, all my cajoling and instructing paid off. It was a classic example of learned behavior, which means ‘a behavior that is taught or acquired through experience’.

Now, if only I can get it to stop attacking my feet while I’m walking…

18/11/09: Since the incident yesterday, the kitten is now using the litter box consistently. When I saw him this morning, I automatically connected it to Khalifah Method, reminded me of the time Daniel learnt to wake up and shower without fuss and understood just how Professor Muhammad al’Mahdi taught a chicken to hop on one leg and turn around.

Boy, am I ever more convinced of the effectiveness of using Khalifah Method for behavior management and behavior modification.

The Secret: Understood by a 10 year old! November 17, 2009

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All praise is due to Allah subhana wa ta’ala, Lord of the worlds.

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, my dear brothers and sisters.

My boys and I were at a stop sign and I pointed out a really nice car to Daniel and asked him what it was (he is into cars). As the car passed us, he said that it was a Nissan 350Z and I remembered that is his favourite car. I told him that he had good taste.

Daniel mentioned that ever since he put up a picture of the 350Z on his Inspiration Board, he has seen the car 5 times so far. Adam then said,’ You know, Daniel. When you think a lot about something, you start to get a lot of it in your life.’

Wow! Mash’Allah, that’s The Secret. You know, the one that everyone made a fuss about several years ago, which sent everyone scurrying to buy the books, videos, go for the courses…And here is Adam, a 10 year old, nonchalantly explaining it to Daniel as if he went for one of those courses himself.

Well, when Daniel heard that, he immediately said, ‘I’m going to think about a billion dollars in my bank account.’ Whoa there, Daniel! As a khalifah parent, this a classic example of when to use Khalifah Method. I told Daniel that it’s okey to want a billion dollars but as a khalifah, you have to make sure you want it so you could help others in need.

This started off another direction of our conversation; who to help and how. Masha’Allah, my boys are truly khalifah of Allah. Though the conversation may have began in a secular materialistic frame of mind but sooner or later, the boys remember their role as khalifah and take that bit of secular materialisme and turn it into how they will fulfill their khalifah responsibilities.

Being a khalifah parent is so exhilarating and motivating- I get to experience seeing Adam and Daniel growing up to be true khalifah of Allah. Alhamdulillah.

POTENTIAL: The truth will set you free! November 16, 2009

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All praise is due to Allah subhana wa ta’ala, Lord of the worlds.

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, my dear brothers and sisters.

Last year, for a teen program, I came up with a challenge to motivate the participants about their true khalifah potential. Using only the 9-letter word ‘POTENTIAL’, they had to find new words within that word without the use of a dictionary.

It became a challenge for them! It was amazing to see the sudden spark in their eyes as they furiously wrote down as many new words as possible. I gave them a time limit of 10 minutes and wow, did they deliver! Two 15 year old boys and one 15 year old girl came out tops with 80-90 plus words!

What was  beautiful from this challenge was that the girl, who had been bored and uninterested in the program before, suddenly found herself being congratulated and look up to by her peers! From that moment on, the young girl participated in all the activities and guess what? She even joined a future program several months later!

I learnt from this experience that our children, require the chance to let their inner potential shine through. If we don’t believe in them first, then we can’t expect them to believe in themselves. We are, after all, their role models.

Oh, by the way, the number of new words that can be found in the word ‘POTENTIAL’ is now 130 and I won’t be surprised if that number continues to grow, just like our khalifah potential.

Got the Monday blues? Beat it with PACE! November 15, 2009

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All praise is due to Allah subhana wa ta’ala,  Lord of the worlds.

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, my dear brothers and sisters.

Ever wake up on Monday thinking, ‘Oh, no…I don’t want to go to work/school/college’? It’s a normal reaction. After 2 days of going along at your own pace, hanging out with friends and family or rushing to get the housework done and knowing you could do with another extra day to finish everything, having to get up on Monday can be a drag.

Well, beat the Monday blues with PACE! What is PACE, you ask..? It is an acronym which stands for

P – Positive

A – Attitude

C – Creates

E – Energy !!

It may sound too good to be true but try it yourself. First, eliminate all external factors. If you are tired, drink water. Tiredness and lethargy is usually a sign your body is dehydrated. Or go out and find a garden somewhere (or stand near a plant or two; potted plants, as long they are real, are acceptable) and breathe in some fresh, clean air. This will help you clear your mind and prepare you to face the rest of the day. For instant energy, have a banana.

If you hadn’t had time to make yourself breakfast, an oatmeal cookie or bran cereal with a glass of water or juice can kick start your day. On no account must you eat nasi lemak! It’s coconut milk ingredient is a sure bet to make you tired and lethargic an hour later.

Now you’re ready to start PACE! Begin with a smile, even though you don’t have much to smile about. A smile is sadaqah, so when you smile at another, the good deed you are doing will come back full circle to you, maybe not immediately but surely. Narrated Abu Dharr: The Prophet said, “Do not disdain any good deed, even your meeting with your brother (Muslim) with a cheerful face.” (Muslim)

Think of something positive about yourself. Try, ‘Alhamdulillah, I got to work on time today.’ Or, ‘I’m clearheaded before the staff meeting so Insha’Allah, I’m going to suggest some ideas for the project.’ Next, think of something positive about your colleague, friend, staff AND tell it to them! Here’s a few examples. ‘You look nice today.’ (bear in mind to only give vanity-type compliments to the same gender). ‘That was a good idea you suggested in the meeting just now.’ Or ‘You seem very happy today and it’s made me cheerful, too. Thank you!’. Rule of thumb when giving compliments: Always be sincere.

Call out greetings to your friends, acquaintances and even strangers. A simple ‘Hi or Good morning!’ is  a great way to cheer up someone else. But the best greeting is ‘Assalamualaikum’. ’Narrated ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr bin Al-‘As: A man asked Allah’s Messenger, “Which act in Islam is the best?” He replied, “To feed (the poor and the needy) and to salute everyone, whether you are acquainted with them or not. ( Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

After doing all these steps, you will find that you feel more energized, have a more positive mindset than when you woke up and go through the rest of the day with confidence and cheerfulness, Insha’Allah.

Try it yourself.

The Truth about Mary… November 15, 2009

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All praise is due to Allah subhna wa ta’ala, Lord of the worlds.

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, my dear brothers and sisters.

A few nights ago, Adam started making up words to sing along to the tune of  ’Chim Chim Cheree’ from the movie ‘Mary Poppins’ and it was so hilarious that we all decided to watch the movie again. There’s something about this movie that just energizes the boys, getting them to sing all the songs and dance the  dances!

But if you thought ‘Mary Poppins’ is a movie for kids, think again. As I was watching, it suddenly dawned on me that this movie hides a more serious truth: the role of parents in their children’s upbringing. ‘Mary Poppins’ isn’t about two misbehaved children getting a ‘fun yet firm’ nanny but really showcases the failure of Jane and Micheal’s parents to be good parents to their children.

mary-poppins

Jane and Micheal’s father is so tied to his work and stodgy principles that he is unable to go to his children’s level and understand why they need to have fun growing up. But I really blame the mother for the children’s difficult behavior! She was so immersed in her charity/ suffrage campaign that she forgot her first priority was to her family! There was one scene where she first tried to fob off her children to the housemaid, then the cook and finally hiring the chimney sweep (Dick Van Dyke) so he could look after the children while she went out ‘to lead the ladies in song at the prison’!

Ask, yourself, how often have I or my husband behaved similarly with our children? As a mother trying to be a khalifah parent to my two boys, I must be honest with myself and admit, that I, too, did what Jane and Micheal’s parents did. In my haste to get my work done or catch an appointment or even to have time for myself, I have left my boys with my sister, or my mother or left them to the care of the maid.

But, honestly, is it really any of those people’s responsibility to look after my boys..? No, of course not. So now, I’m learning to accept that the care of my boys fall under my own, personal responsibility and that where I go or what I do, they will be a part of it.

And we can even sing along together to all the ‘Mary Poppins’ song on the way…

“If you don’t have a worldview, then your life is about nothing.” Faris,7 November 11, 2009

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All praise is due to Allah subhana wa ta’ala, Lord of the worlds.

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi waa barakatuh, my dear brothers and sisters.

A fellow trainer, Sis Azra, asked the children participating in a program at school this question, ‘What is worldview?’ I was astounded to hear young Faris, aged 7 years old, answer,  ” If you don’t have worldview, then your life is about nothing.”

Wow! Masha’Allah, this is a  question I’ve asked adolescents and even adults and they had difficulty understanding what worldview is, let alone being able to put it into words. To hear a 7 year old make such a profound statement (you have to admit his words makes sense, right?) was truly an inspiring moment for me.

Another ‘Wow!’ moment for me was when Bro. Suhair, 10 years old, read out his answer that his group voted as the winner of Challenge 1, ‘What is a khalifah?’. He said, ” A khalifah is someone who helps someone who is not a muslim become a muslim.” I am not ashamed to admit that I cried, in front of everyone, when I heard his answer.

It is interesting to note that the answers from all the winners shared a common similarity: they all answered a khalifah helps others become better or helps something become better. They truly understood that being khalifah is about others, not about themselves.

There was a party after school today and a parent asked me to sit with them. I told her I was waiting for the pizza line to get shorter so I could get one for myself. A few minutes later, I turned to see the young philosopher Faris with a slice of pizza in his hand. He said he heard me say I wanted a pizza and went to get one for me! If I wasn’t already sitting down, I think my knees would’ve given way underneath me! What a truly chivalrous act from someone so young.

I noticed that all these kids, the ones who gave me my ‘Wow!’ moments, are from backgrounds where their parents play an active role in their children’s day-to-day upbringing. These are dual-income working parents yet they have organised their schedule and lifestyle to ensure their family is their number one priority. They did not leave their children’s development solely to the school.

So, to all parents out there, take charge of your own children’s life from now onwards. Let’s start believing in the true potential of our children and create opportunities for them to shine. After all, they are OUR future.