BismilLah ir-Rahman ir-Rahim
Recalling my reluctance at the last moment to make a doctor’s appointment yesterday, I began linking that incident to several others. My husband used to call me the hypochondriac of the family. Every little sniffle or cough or bruise would find us at the doctor’s office…
Yet, in the last few years, I’ve noticed a reluctance to go see a doctor, even when I needed to. (I pulled out my own stitches for a severe cut on my toe, instead of having the doctor do it.Too extreme..?Lol) I guess this had to do with the rule I had implemented with my children when they were toddlers (and whining every 2 seconds that they had a cut, a bruise or got pushed). I told them not to come to me unless ‘it’s broken, bleeding or I need to take you to the hospital’.
It helped with the whining. Since the rule was implemented, I received a little more peace and quiet from the boys. Which brings me back to the title of this post, ‘The selfishness of Man’.
I just realised that many of the rules and boundaries that we have set for our children (or students/ grandchildren/ nieces and nephews) really is for us! To get a little peace and quiet. To not be troubled by problems or misbehavior. To avoid dealing with stressful issues. I’m probably putting myself in the line of fire for saying this but, be honest with yourself, ‘Aren’t a number of rules I’ve set for my kids is really, in truth, more for my benefit than theirs..?’
Yes, we may argue that it is for their own good; to keep them safe, to make them into better people. But empowering children with decision-making authority and giving them respect also helps them become better people but we don’t see parents or schools rushing to implement that, do we..?
I know understand why there is so much conflict between parents/teachers and children. What we do to them is really against their fitra. To keep imposing rules on them yet not allowing them the opportunities to decide their own destiny, punishing them for their mistakes yet we expect our bosses to forgive us and give us a second chance when we mess up.
I think the title should now be changed to ‘ The selfishness of Parents and Educators’… I know I have to re-trace my steps and correct the wrongs I’ve caused my sons. ALLAH knows best.