All praise is due to Allah subhana wa ta’ala, Lord of the worlds.
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, my dear brothers and sisters.
After hanging the clothes out to dry and in the middle of washing down the balcony floor, I looked up and saw both Adam and Daniel playing in my bedroom (the balcony runs along the whole length of our apartment and the rooms look out onto the balcony).
My bedroom door was open so I called them and asked, ” Do you think that is right for you to see your mummy do all this work while you are playing?”. Now, don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t trying to make them feel guilty about playing while I’m doing housework but I thought, as a khalifah parent, I should help them understand empathy and compassion for the hardships of others and offer themselves up to ease their burden.
So, I said to them to stop playing for a while and help me with a few house chores then they could go back to playing. I put them to work in the kitchen washing the dishes. It was a nice feeling, watching them both at the sink. Daniel cleaned the dishes while Adam rinsed. Usually, they would wash their own dishes after meals and I’d do the cooking utensils et cetera but this time, they did everything.
Once they started the chores, they almost didn’t want to stop. Daniel wanted to do the laundry and was upset when I told him I had already done it. So, instead, he went to get the Pledge spray so he could polish the furniture. (Wow!) Adam went into their bedroom and tidied both his and Daniel’s things. When I passed their room, I was impressed with the work he had done. It was great to not have to keep saying,”You forgot a spot.’ Or ‘You didn’t tidy that bit properly.’
What happened today was a reminder to me to not forget my rights as their mother. In a son’s life, his mother is the most important person, even more important than his wife or his children. This right is clearly explained in the story about the man who went to Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. and asked him who he should respect and love after Allah and His Prophet. Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. replied,”Your mother.” The man asked again, “After that?”. The answer again was “Your mother.” And the man asked again,”After that?”. The Prophet replied, “Your mother. Then your father.”
Subhana’Allah! Three times the Prophet said “Your mother.” The position of a mother to her son is one of utmost importance and must be safe-guarded by the son. That is why it is so important for the mother to be careful to maintain her dignity in front of her son. To ensure her son respects and honours her in every possible way.
For me, I have always expected my sons to grant me my rights as their mother. They do hold open doors for me, help carry my things or offer me a drink or a snack. Daniel always lets me have the dish that we both ordered first; he waits for the waiter to bring his later. I’ve never asked him to do that for me, he just did it one day and hasn’t changed his habit ever since. That is just so sweet of him…
And whenever one of them refuses to do something that I asked them to, the other will say, “She’s our MOTHER…”. Alhamdulillah.